As you observe people during your communication with them, their physiology will go through small changes from second to second as they begin to change states.

These changes have meaning behind them as long as you know what to look for and how to interpret them.  Some of these changes can be very subtle while others are blatantly obvious.

The changes that you will notice come from their other persons facial expressions and their breathing.  This will take time and practice to start to notice each of these changes.

I suggest that you pick one of these at a time and practice it for a few days before you move on to the next. This could seem overwhelming to do this all at once, and it is.  That is why it is a lot easier to get good at just one aspect of something before moving on to the next. Use this suggestion in everything, not just here: do not take everything on at once, take it one step at a time.

1. Skin Color

When looking at someone’s skin color, watch for the slight changes in it. When color changes in someone’s face, it will either go from light to dark, or dark to light.  When a persons skin goes dark, think of it as blushing. It does not matter the persons race, this happens in everyone.  It is easier to notice it in white people compared to blacks but the changes still take place.  A great suggestion is to think about looking at them as a black & white picture; through this perception you will be able to notice the color variation a lot easier especially in people who are not white.

2. Skin Tonus

This is the muscle structure of the face, the tone of the muscles that give the facial expressions.  This can be done by imagining that you are splitting the face down the middle and looking for symmetry with both sides. Look for the shine of the light off the skin as well.  When you are looking at the muscle tone of the face, it will either be symmetrical or not symmetrical.  Symmetrical face tone gives a more honest and genuine feel. Through this, you can also tell how a person is feeling.

3. Breathing

Another persons breathing can tell a lot about what they are experiencing at that time of the conversation.  Their breathing rate could be fast or slow.  Are they relaxed or anxious? The location of where they are breathing is good to note as well. Notice if they are breathing from the upper, middle, lower chest or abdomen.  This is good to note because it will help you build rapport.

4. Lower Lip Size

As people go through different states, their lower lip will change sizes.  You will also notice that the lines on the lower lip may be more distinct or disappear throughout the conversation.  When you notice this, make note of what is going on in the conversation and what other factors you are picking up from the sensory acuity.

5. Eyes

Eyes do not lie, that is unless they were trained to be liars by someone.  When in a conversation, notice where they focus their eyes. Where are they looking? How much are they looking at you or away from you. A liar will have direct eye contact 80-90% of the conversation and a honest person will have eye contact about 60% of the time.  When their pupils dilate, make note of that too.  When noticing pupil dilation, think of it as taking snapshots.  Ask yourself what is different in the eyes, conversation and the rest of the sensory acuity that you are experiencing.

What changes have you noticed while practicing?

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